


These Dang New-Fangled Phones

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Jon is an 80 year old trapped in a 30 year old body, M/M, but in his defense the phone just would not work, probably sometime in season 3, reading work emails is basically a date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22574155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: As Jon grows more into his role as the Archivist, he struggles more and more with using technology. Luckily, Martin is there to help.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 22
Kudos: 214





	These Dang New-Fangled Phones

Perhaps Jon should have anticipated such an issue. After all, things related to the entities had always shown themselves to be resistant to digital technology in the past, considering that all of the true statements needed to be done on an old tape recorder. So why had Jon assumed that he was going to be any different?

It started after he’d gotten back from being kidnapped (the first time). He found his phone, but every time he tried to enter the password, the whole screen did a weird glitchy thing that Jon didn’t understand. He hated not understanding, but to him what was even worse was that he couldn’t check to see if he’d missed any important work emails.

Eventually, Jon managed to get his phone unlocked, but every time he tried to open any app, the button for it physically moved itself across the screen, as if fleeing from the press of Jon’s finger. It was quite irritating, and worthy of being made into a statement all on its own.

Whenever Jon tried to make a phone call (which wasn’t really all that often, considering that he didn’t have anyone to call even if he wanted to), there would be a loud buzzing in his ear, followed by static noises that were nearly deafening. The first time it had happened it had ended with Jon’s phone being flung across the room. 

Jon was a master of denial, though, and he convinced himself that it was just the phone that wasn’t working. He’d had it for a while, and smartphones needed to upgraded constantly, so that’s probably all it was. Jon tossed his phone out and went to the store to buy a new one. For absolutely no particular reason at all, he decided to get a flip phone (though he regretted not buying it online when he had to deal with the employee at the store staring at him weirdly. Jon couldn’t tell whether it was because of all the scars, or because he was buying a flip phone. He decided that he didn’t really want to know). 

With the phone situation sorted, Jon figured that that would be the end of his troubles, but of course it wasn’t. When had Jon ever been able to catch a break in his stupidly troublesome life? Apparently the proper answer to that was ‘never’. 

Jon tried to open his email for the umpteenth time, but once again, it just made his browser crash and bring him back to his desktop screen (which was a photograph Tim had once taken of their original group- him, Martin, Jon, and Sasha- and then set as Jon’s background as a prank. Jon claimed that he didn’t know how to change it, which Tim had found hilarious, but truthfully, he thought that the picture was actually kind of nice). 

Jon let out a loud groan of frustration and slumped back in his seat. At this point, the only thing he was good for was recording statements, which was useless since the majority of statements that came in were completely fictional and not worth wasting time and tapes on. 

Martin must have been just outside Jon’s office, because he knocked politely on the door and then pushed it open. “Jon? Is everything alright?”

Jon let out a tired sigh. “I can’t open my email, Martin.”

There was a moment of silence, and Jon forced himself to look up. He wasn’t quite sure what kind of look was on Martin’s face, but he knew that it was different than Martin’s usual looks. “Have you- did you forget your password?” 

Ah, so that was the look. It was one that meant Martin found Jon to be incompetent (which was fair, considering everything Jon had said about Martin when they’d first started working down here). Jon just closed his eyes and tipped his head back so that it was angled towards the ceiling. “No I did not-” he cut himself off before he could finish snapping. It wasn’t Martin’s fault that Jon’s computer was defective (or, as the sinking feeling in Jon’s gut seemed to lead towards, that Jon was defective). “Can you just-?”

Martin nodded quickly. “Right, yeah, of course!” He moved around the side of the desk, and leaned over so that he could get to the computer. Jon hadn’t thought to move his chair, but now Martin’s shoulder was pressed up against his, and it would probably seem offensive to move out of the way. Jon held his breath so that he wouldn’t have to breath in that flowery shampoo that Martin used. 

Even though it only took a few clicks for Martin to get to Jon’s email, it felt like it took years and years. As soon as the prompt for the password popped up, Jon let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

He still wasn’t sure that Martin even understood the root of the problem, but at this point, he just needed to get Martin out of his office. “Sure, no problem, Jon. Any time. I mean, you probably shouldn’t get locked out of your email any time, but I-”

Jon tried to ignore the rambling as he pulled the keyboard over so that he could type in his password. As soon as he hit the enter key, though, the screen went black for a moment, and then it was back to the desktop. Jon had to resist the urge to bang his head against the desk.

“Ah, I see,” came Martin’s voice from shockingly close to Jon’s ear. “Do you- if you want, you could tell me your password, and then we could try that?”

Jon shook his head. “Why bother? I’m sure that I won’t be allowed to read any of them anyways.” He fished out his new phone, and tried to ignore the look of horror on Martin’s face that came from Jon brandishing a flip phone. He knew that it only added fuel to the fire that was people calling Jon an old man. “I couldn’t get into my old phone at all. I think it’s getting worse now.”

He leaned forward to cross his arms on his desk and press his face into them. He was cursed, that’s all there was to it. He was cursed, and he was never going to be able to check his emails again, and he wouldn’t be able to skype his cousin that had moved to the states when he was younger, and he wouldn’t be able to effectively send texts, and- well, it hardly mattered. Thinking about everything he couldn’t do anymore wouldn’t make him feel any better.

Martin gave Jon a sympathetic look, and he finally seemed to understand what was going on. “You’re becoming more-”

“More of a monster?” Jon interrupted, voice slightly muffled by his arms. “I know.”

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Martin immediately protested. “I was just- you’re changing, that’s all. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know.” 

Jon sat up just so that he could look at Martin in disbelief. He held up his flip phone again, in case Martin had somehow missed it the first time. “Really? I can’t even check my bloody emails and you think this is a good thing?”

There were a few seconds of silence, and then Jon ducked his head down, ashamed at himself for losing his temper. It wasn’t Martin’s fault that Jon was cursed. Finally, Martin spoke again, in a quiet, hesitant voice. “If you’re really so worried about your emails, then maybe- maybe I could read them to you? If they’re just work stuff then there shouldn’t be anything personal in them, right?”

Even though Jon wanted to stay angry at the world, he found himself deflating at the calmness that Martin was displaying. He opened his mouth to tell Martin that emails weren’t the point, but then he decided that it wasn’t something worth arguing over, so he just sighed, and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, I suppose we could- we could try that.”

The bright grin that suddenly lit up Martin’s face startled Jon, but then he relaxed. It was nice to see Martin looking so happy. It was rare for any of them to feel positive about anything after the past couple of years. “Great! Let me just- I’ll go make us some tea, and then I’ll be right back!” He sounded so enthusiastic to do something as simple as read Jon’s work emails, which was strange because Jon had thought it was an offer made out of pity or obligation more than anything.

Martin hurried off in the direction of the kitchen, and Jon couldn’t help the way that his own lips curled up slightly at the edges. He looked down at his useless phone, and then at his traitorous computer. He thought about Martin pressed up against him as he tried to help, and Jon wondered if maybe he wasn’t so cursed after all.


End file.
